November 16, 2016

Three Stages of Love

“I have loved you, My people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to Myself.”
Jeremiah 31:3 (NLT)

Marriage experts identify three stages of love. The first two stages are the most common today.

Stage one is the first glance stage. It’s what is mistakenly called love at first sight. It’s the stage of attraction. You could be polar opposites and still be attracted to one another at the first glance stage. In fact, counselors tell us that, before marriage, opposites attract. The only problem is that, after marriage, opposites attack! In the first glance stage, couples often only see only the things they love about the other person. It’s a stage of infatuation and fantasy. While exciting and thrilling as this stage can be, it is short-lived. Someone once said it well, “Love is blind – marriage is the eye-opener!” Like the woman who told her husband, “Now I believe it when people say love is blind … because I must have been blind to love you!”

Stage two is the second look stage of love. It’s when you look at one another and wonder, “What did I ever see in you to begin with?” Suddenly, those differences that seemed so unique and cute before become annoying and irritating. In the second look stage, you begin to see one another more realistically as opposed to the image you once projected. Reality sets in and you may wonder, “What have I done?” Rather than embracing and celebrating those differences, you begin the mission of trying to change the other person. Unfortunately, that’s when many couples bail on their relationship or begin an affair that only perpetuates the same two stages in another relationship.

Thankfully, there’s a third stage that God desires for us. It fulfills the longing of every heart and, with God’s help and grace, you can experience this stage of love. Chris and I call it the last sight stage of love. We don’t believe in love at first sight, but rather value love at last sight. Every relationship will experience a last sight stage. The question is whether it will be love at last sight or don’t let the door hit you on the way out kind of sight. We are so committed to the last sight stage of love that we’ve written our own Love at Last Sight Vision statement:

I am completely committed by God’s power to make sure that each of my
closest relationships gets stronger each time we’re together; so that the
last time we see each other on earth we’ll be closer than ever before.

Those who experience a last sight stage of love understand the nature of God’s love. God’s love is both everlasting and unfailing. Last sight love weathers any storm. It is intentional and committed. Through His prophet Jeremiah, God spoke to a people that had turned away from Him; yet, despite their unfaithfulness, He said, “I have loved you, My people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to Myself.” Isn’t that the kind of love you long for? Commit your heart and your relationship to God and make a choice today to move toward the last sight stage of love.