by Kerry Shook and Jordan Alpha
And the Lord God said, “It isn’t good for man to be alone; I will make a companion for him, a helper suited to his needs.” So the Lord God formed from the soil every kind of animal and bird, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever he called them, that was their name. But still there was no proper helper for the man. Then the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and took one of his ribs and closed up the place from which he had removed it, and made the rib into a woman, and brought her to the man. “This is it!” Adam exclaimed. “She is part of my own bone and flesh! Her name is ’woman’ because she was taken out of a man.” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife in such a way that the two become one person. Genesis 2:18-24 (TLB)
Too often, marriages gravitate to the relationship of teammates when our deepest longing is for a soulmate. God saw that need in the first man, Adam. Even before sin ever entered the picture, God said there was something not good about His perfect creation. He said, “It isn’t good for man to be alone….” So, God set out to make a companion for him, a soulmate with whom he could share his life and love as they ruled together over all of God’s creation.
Now, I find it very interesting just how God came up with this soulmate who alone would meet that special need for companionship and intimacy in Adam’s life. The very next verses in the Genesis account say that God formed from the soil every kind of animal and bird, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. … But still there was no proper helper for the man. This presupposes to me that God was looking to see if Adam would find what he was looking for in one of those animals. Yet, none were suitable to become the soulmate that Adam longed for. So, God performs the first surgery and puts Adam to sleep. The Bible says God took one of Adam’s ribs and made the rib into a woman. The New American Standard Version of the Bible says,
“The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.” Gen. 2:22
Did you get that, guys? God made man from the dirt, but He fashioned the woman! That should tell us a lot!
The Living Bible really captures the emotion of Adam’s response when he awoke and saw what God had fashioned! “This is it!” Adam exclaimed. “She is part of my own bone and flesh!” (Gen. 2:23) Man had a soulmate! The two would become one flesh. Isn’t that the longing God planted in your heart? It’s not too late to develop that kind of relationship.
A goal I set recently is helping me to develop that kind of intimacy in my marriage: I try to win her heart every day. Since I’m a goal-oriented guy, that little phrase – “win her heart every day” – helps me break out of my complacency with some tangible action. Imagine for a moment that you just started dating. Remember those days? You did whatever it took to win her heart. Do it again! That was the counsel that Jesus gave the church in Ephesus in a letter He dictated for John to send them. He said,
“I have this complaint against you. You don’t love Me or each other as you did at first! Look how far you have fallen! Turn back to Me and do the works you did at first.” Revelation 2:4-5 (NLT)
This was a hardworking, faithful church. They were commended for many good things, but they had lost the most important thing – their first love! If we’re honest, that can happen to us as well. It may already have, and now your wife or husband feels more like a teammate than a soulmate. The good news is that you can recover your first love again! How? Make it your goal to win her heart ever day!
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