by Kerry Shook and Jordan Alpha 

“You are beautiful, my darling, beautiful beyond words…

You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way….

You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride.

You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes.”

Song of Solomon 4:1, 7, 9 (NLT) 

If a woman’s greatest struggle is seeing her true beauty, then the question we guys should be asking is, how can we help her see the truth?  One of the most important ways we can do that is by reassuring women of the truth that they are truly beautiful.  In Song of Solomon, King Solomon speaks words of reassurance to his wife. Four times in this passage alone, he tells her she is beautiful!  You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful. He’s reassuring her of the truth that she is beautiful.

Men have a huge role to play here because we can reflect the truth to the women in our lives by reassuring them of their beauty. They’re looking for reassurance.  That’s why they’re always asking things like, “Do I look good in this dress?”  “Do you like my new haircut?” “Do you like this color on me?” They’re asking for reassurance of the truth that they are beautiful in our eyes.

One of the worst things we can do is try to change or fix them rather than accept and love them. The culture constantly pressures women to conform to a false definition of beauty. We need to be save buffers between them and a destructive culture.  We can create an acceptance zone where they can feel the acceptance and love of God through us.  Our relationship with them should be a place where they can be their true selves and live from their sacred reflections instead of trying to live up to an unrealistic idea of beauty.

Let’s be mirrors that reflect their true worth and beauty.  Men, the only way we can do that is to look to Christ ourselves.  We can’t meet our wives’ and daughters’ deepest needs to feel beautiful and to be loved perfectly. No human being can.  Only God can truly met their deepest needs, and there is only one mirror that reflects perfect love. The mirror of Christ’s love.

We can, however, point our wives and daughters to the one true mirror as we look to that mirror ourselves.  The greatest thing you can ever do for your wife or your daughter is to point her to the only mirror that counts, the mirror of Christ’s eyes. As you look together into Christ’s loving eyes, you’ll see reflected back unconditional love and eternal beauty!